From c18cd4eead06c945b6accbeb7a531f83d7c4e874 Mon Sep 17 00:00:00 2001
From: Dynamitos <dynamitos@hey.com>
Date: Thu, 18 Jun 2026 20:50:52 +0200
Subject: [PATCH] Separate narrator and thinking

---
 game/script.rpy | 29 ++++++++++++++---------------
 1 file changed, 14 insertions(+), 15 deletions(-)

diff --git a/game/script.rpy b/game/script.rpy
index 28d5e0f..9bee669 100644
--- a/game/script.rpy
+++ b/game/script.rpy
@@ -1,8 +1,9 @@
 # The Iron Hollow — Chapter 1 PoC
 # Scene 2: Sara Arrives
 
-define sara = Character("Sara", color="#c8a882")
-define luno = Character("Luno", color="#82b4c8")
+define sara = Character("Sara", color="#5acbd5")
+define thinking = Character("Sara", color="#1d9fa4", what_italic=True)
+define luno = Character("Luno", color="#1b449d")
 define narrator = Character(None)
 
 # ── Persistent flags ──────────────────────────────────────────────────────────
@@ -10,8 +11,6 @@ default checkpoint_set    = False
 default rewind_used       = False
 default purpose_chosen    = False
 default silence_chosen    = False # here Sara learns that Luno asks everyone the same question
-default timer_left        = 20
-default timer_max         = 20
 
 # ── Entry point ───────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────
 label start:
@@ -19,25 +18,26 @@ label start:
     with fade
 
     "The Iron Hollow training yard sits inside a converted warehouse district. Stone walls, packed dirt, the smell of old metal and new sweat."
-    "Sara takes it all in before she steps through the gate."
+    thinking "So this is where the Iron Hollow has its base."
 
     show sara neutral at left
     with easeinright
 
-    "Two people are already here. A boy against the far wall, watching nothing. And a girl near the gate — moving like she already belongs."
+    thinking "Two others have arrived already. The boy over there is seems to know where to go, maybe I should ask him."
+    thinking "Looks like the other one noticed me."
 
     show luno curious at right
     with easeinright
 
-    "The girl notices Sara first."
     jump luno_greeting
 
 label luno_greeting:
     luno "You're here for the recruitment?"
     sara "Yes. Where do I register?"
     luno "The man over at that table takes your name. Then we wait."
+    thinking "Seems like she told him where to go."
     luno "I'm Luno. Been here a few days already — helping with the wounded from last month's job. I know how things run here if you need anything."
-    "She doesn't say it like an offer. She says it like she's already taking notes."
+    thinking "That's a strong question right away."
     luno "So. Money, glory, or are you just bored?"
     jump choice_screen
 
@@ -60,7 +60,7 @@ label rewind_choice:
             with dissolve
             show sara neutral at left
             show luno curious at right
-            "Sara is standing at the choice again. Luno's question still in the air."
+            thinking "Let's try this again."
             jump choice_screen
         "[[ Continue ]":
             hide screen rewind_prompt
@@ -75,7 +75,6 @@ label choice_screen:
             scene black
             with dissolve
             "A flash. Sara's hand, signing something. A contract. The ink is red."
-            "It could mean anything."
             scene bg training_yard
             with dissolve
             show sara neutral at left
@@ -113,13 +112,13 @@ label branch_money:
 label branch_money_post_rewind:
     sara "Same reason as everyone else."
     luno "Sure."
-    "Unremarkable. Fine."
+    thinking "Unremarkable. Fine."
     "But when Sara finishes speaking, Luno's eyes linger — just a half-second longer than they should."
     show luno linger at right
     "Not suspicion. Not quite. More like the feeling of reaching for something that moved."
     show luno neutral at right
-    "She shakes it off. Probably nothing."
-    "Sara knows it wasn't nothing."
+    thinking "Probably nothing."
+    "But it wasn't nothing."
     jump rewind_choice
 
 label branch_purpose:
@@ -134,11 +133,11 @@ label branch_purpose:
     luno "The clothes suggest a script."
     show sara pained at left
     sara "The script didn't survive."
-    "She doesn't mean to say it. Too true. Too fast. Too much."
+    thinking "I said too much. I can't already give this much information to a stranger."
     "She can feel it land — can feel Luno actually {i}looking{/i} at her now, not just watching."
     show luno soft at right
     luno "...Yeah. I know that feeling."
-    "Sara can step back. Give the safer answer. Luno will never know what she almost said."
+    thinking "I should go back. Give the safer answer. She shouldn't know what I almost said."
     jump rewind_choice
 
 label branch_silence: